Big Fat Deal: $5 Million to be a Pioneer or Posh on the Eastside

BCLiving takes you inside one of the most outrageously upmarket real estate offerings in the province

Address: PH2, 289 East 6th Avenue, Vancouver

Price: $4,998,000

Lisitng: R2275227

The skinny: Three-bedroom, four-bathroom, 2,951-square-foot penthouse in Mount Pleasant.

The bling: Klaxon! Klaxon! Pioneers needed. Yes, that’s right, it’s time for you to put your money where your principles lie and push that luxury property line eastward. It’s a tough ask, we know, but penthouses are not for ordinary people, and Main Street needs you driving your fleet of luxury vehicles up and down it to remind everyone how far they still have to come. Seriously, these hipsters think they own the place, but park your Porsche outside that artisanally influenced ethnic hot spot and show them who really is in charge. And nothing says you’ve arrived more than a late-night stop at Church’s Chicken while your McLaren purrs outside (yes, this actually is a thing) because only the ultra-rich would sully the smell of their bespoke leather interior with cheap chuck. You’ll be the absolute king of this castle with its 2,500 feet of deck space from which to peer down at the poor saps just trying to make ends meet. Water your rooftop lawn with impunity, relax in that hot tub: you’re rich, baby, don’t let anything spoil your fun.

The hidden extras: Wall-to-wall Carrara marble and African rosewood, exercise centre (if you can bring yourself to sweat alongside the hoi polloi), retractable doors, air con.