Big Fat Deal: $4 Million for a Monochrome Mansion in East Van

BCLiving takes you inside one of the most outrageously upmarket real estate offerings in the province

Address: 2458 Yale Street, Vancouver

Price: $4,350,000

Listing: R2285200

The skinny: Seven-bedroom, seven-bathroom, 3,755-square-foot house on a 4,135-square-foot lot in Hastings-Sunrise

The bling: Tired of city streets? The relentless traffic? The whole being trapped in the daily grind with the great unwashed? Does just being outside make you feel dirty? You sound like you need a home in which to retreat—to shut the door and feel safe. So you may not be the richest millionaire in town. You may be some way off your dream of a gated mansion in West Van and its swath of servants keeping it spotless. Never fear: Big Fat Deal is here. Yes, this week we have unearthed the perfect luxury starter home for those who yearn for a cocoon of clean—a space that sparkles with shiny white surfaces. Here’s a home that understands that only when you strip yourself bare amid expensive Italian marble and custom-designed crystal light fittings and give yourself up fully to the whiteness will you truly start becoming the person you need to be to rid yourself of the ordinary wealthy and catapult you into the truly supreme league. Better yet, you can achieve this more quickly by offering the (almost) equally white and sparkly basement suite and laneway house at outrageously non–Hastings-Sunrise rental rates to suitably qualified tenants. Good deeds are never unpunished. Right?

The hidden extras: Air conditioning (for the three weeks a year you might need it), heated driveway (for the two weeks a year it might snow)