Big Fat Deal: $9 Million to Immerse Your Children in the Trappings of Your Success

BCLiving takes you inside one of the most outrageously upmarket real estate offerings in the province

Address: 4158 Crown Crescent, Point Grey   

Price: $8,998,000

MLS: R2224062

The skinny: Four-bedroom, five-bathroom, 4,195-square-foot house on a 6,024-square-foot lot in Point Grey. 

The bling: Never think that it’s enough to make your millions and sit back and enjoy them without getting all garish and gauche. Living a simple, quiet life is no way to bring up the next generation of venture capitalists and wealth-management narcissists. Seriously, what did you think? That having all the comforts of a super rich life would somehow be enough to keep them on the money-making warpath? It’s clearly time to regroup and remember that what matters most in the early years of raising your children is to be sure they become so spoiled, so entirely indulged, that the mere thought of not being able to have anything their little heart desires the moment it crosses their mind sends them into a stone-cold panic. Only by being fully immersed in the trappings of your success will they set forth into the world demanding everything and settling for nothing. Herewith, the perfect home for bringing up proper brats: their own ensuite rooms, a mini hockey rink in the basement and a swing (a SWING) in the sitting room. What a trick we have all been missing: this is the way to guarantee your child is always the centre of attention. It doesn’t matter who is over—friends, family, your investment partners—your children will have no excuse to not foist their precocious, whining selves into proceedings. Every multi-million-dollar home should be so thoughtfully decked out. 

The hidden extras: Outdoor kitchen, double garage, Eclipse wall so the little darlings can run screaming between indoors and outdoors completely unimpeded.