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Tempura bacon, lobster poutine, deep-fried cheese curds + more: these 10 super indulgent local treats will have you quitting your cleanse in no time
True fact: science says that our kidneys and liver do all the detoxing our bodies need, so why waste time guilt-tripping on overpriced juices when you could give in to the welcome embrace of Vancouver’s most delicious menu items instead. Say goodbye to that bland diet and hello to mouth-watering, fat-packed flavour-bombs instead.
Loosen your belt and start planning a cheat day of epic proportions… in no particular order, here are our top 10 picks.
The devil is known to have the best music and it appears that he’s got a line on the best sandwiches too. How else can you explain Buckstop’s sinfully trouser-tightening outrage on a plate (pictured above)? Smoked shaved sirloin dances in a rich IPA-barbecue gravy with onions and peppers. It’s topped with two kinds of cheese and—look away if you’re feeling weak—two pieces of deep-fried tempura bacon. It all comes served on egg-washed fried sourdough bread. Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned. But #sorrynotsorry.
Once you know what The Mexican’s queso fundido is, it’s hard to not just run screaming to their Granville Street location, begging for a portion of this wickedly good stuff. Put simply: it’s a big ol’ pot of melted ooey-gooey cheese that comes topped with your choice of spicy home made chorizo or mushrooms, and is served up with a little pico de gallo. Spread it thickly on the warm, soft corn tortilla and give into a well-deserved cheesegasm.
Slide into a seat and access your inner caveman as you indulge in one of Gastown’s most decadent menu items: Wildebeest’s roasted bone marrow. Smack your lips and slather that pleasurably melty-meaty marrow on grilled bread and you’ll see why TV chef and culinary adventurer Anthony Bourdain wants to dine on roasted bone marrow for his last meal on earth. But wait, I hear you cry: sure this is delicious, but decadent? Ahem, I had not finished. Request the off-menu sherry luge once you’re done. Just shoot a shot of sherry down the bone (try saying that three times) to soak up any last traces of meat and fat. You decadent beast, you.
Alas, only available for brunch, but damn! So worth including because how often do you get to have a perfectly-made pizza for breakfast (and no, the cold one in your fridge from the night before absolutely does not count). Charlie’s bacon and egg breakfast pizza comes hosed with a creamy parmesan sauce, light crisp bites of potato, pleasingly fork-shatter bacon and a poached egg. Sure there’s a nod to health with the arugula but I won’t tell if you don’t.
Making all other bar snacks basically seem comprised of sawdust and disappointment in comparison, Timber’s bowl of deep-fried cheese curds leads the way when it comes to deliciousness and offering great bang for your buck. Just $5 buys you a bowl of gooey crisp-fried cheesy heaven. Take a seat. Order a portion. Prepare to slap anyone who tries to steal a bite. These babies are yours and yours alone. The only hard part? Waiting for them to cool down enough to start shoveling them in.
Lunch at Hy’s. It’s a decades-old Vancouver tradition that never fails to soothe the soul. The music is low, the service faultless and friendly, and the window-less room totally timeless. It’s lunch at Hy’s, so have a martini (maybe a lemon drop?) while you look over the menu—obviously with a side of their famous cheese bread. For the ultimate in decadence, go for the double of table-side service; first a Caesar salad, which will make your mouth throb pleasurably with pungent raw garlic, then a show-stopping flame-torched Steak Diane. Even the side of spinach comes loaded with cream, so leave your troubles at the door and lunch like it’s the 1950s.
Score’s crazily loaded caesars have made headlines all over the world, but the ultimate decadence on the menu has to be their vast tray of nachos. Oozing with cheese piled high with luscious, juicy pulled pork, choritzo or pulled chicken, black olives, black beans, green onions and corn, this is ludicrously large and abominably tasty – and what’s more, the nacho chips are house-made. Sure adventurous solo diners have tried to kill the nachos, but they are always defeated. Take a friend, or two to successfully tackle this bad boy.
Free yourself from the tyranny of choice at Purebread! Why decide between a pizza or a grilled-cheese sandwich when you could have both at once? Meet the margarita grilled cheese sandwich, packed with melty three-cheese goodness and a tangy fresh house-made tomato sauce. Fragrant with basil, brushed with butter and utterly oozing comfort with every bite, this elevates the humble toastie into something altogether more awesome and wonderful.
Bring out your stretchiest ‘Professional Eating Pants’ and slide into the warm embrace of Save on Meat’s ambrosial fried chicken and waffles. The chicken is extra juicy thanks to being brined before cooking and its batter super crunchy made with a secret recipe of herbs and spices. It’s fried twice and served up on a pair of face-sized waffles, drizzled in maple syrup. On the side, a pleasingly large serving of country gravy completes the feast. This dish works shockingly well with SOM’s ‘Legendary Shake’ blended with Wild Turkey and bacon.
How much does inner peace cost? Well, at WildTale, $6 at happy hour or $9 (as a special request) at dinner. Small coin indeed to satisfy your soul with a bowl of the Food of the Gods: lobster poutine. Fat chunks of juicy lobster swim happily with crisp Yukon Gold fries in a rich buttery lobster gravy, and generously anointed with cheese curds and Grano Padano cheese. A single bowl has the power to turn around even the ugliest day.